realized that i made a lot of spelling mistakes in yday's entry. understandable since my eyes were reduced to slits by the time i was almost done writing. cld barely keep my eyes open.
today is a brand new day. its been donkey years since i had to get myself out off bed at plus. cabbed down to office in the end in order not to be late. slept on the cab to office and den to westwood. was pretty stoned throughout though as i was still unfamiliar with the contents of the workshop. didnt do much except to walk ard and do some checking. yuan sheng was in my class and david zheng in the next. funny to be seeing my very own members in the workshops that i am helping in. =p
felt more in place back in the office as i know what i can do. played music since michael wasn't ard. helped to build momentum to work. although workshop pays higher per hour, i felt better abt data entrying and stuff in office simply because it gives me a greater sense of achievement. went off for tuition with charissa in the afternoon.
was pretty tired and i cld tell that she was too. my do i miss my
beauty sleep. no complaints abt the lack of sleep since i will probably get to recuperate when i head for a retreat next week. finally. my do i love the sunshine and sea. i'm excited for the retreat to lay back, think and plan. at the same time to build up on my spiritual life and get ready for all the battles that are due this year.
had a great time visiting with huiling today. really wanna thank God for placing her in my life. been ages since i had a sister leader. she has been an awesome listening ear the whole of today. she just listens to me with acceptance and in her own way, made me feel impt and loved. she came across my blog, with thanks to ew's blog. ^^
i haven got a chance to tell her abt the desire of my heart for this year. but she got to know abt some of it through the reading of my blog earlier in the day. was glad that she was really okay with it. much as my cc ldrs do want to rise me up over the two years, i know now where i am headed for. since the decision has been made, i will follow through. met pc up with huiling after visitation. we talked abt a few things and pc brought up the topic of me gg to SWAT. i teasingly re-emphasized it to huiling. probably whether to go SWAT or nt will take prayers.
some of the things i talked to huiling abt is the impact of the friends that we keep on our destiny. there are ppl ard who are of substance and they value-add to ur life each time you fellowship with them. i need to seek out these ppl in my life this year and strengthen my friendship with lin, ling and maybelline. i seek this year for a soulmate, someone close to my heart. someone who hears me and knows me, moving together in the same direction. but i might probably move on frm fots since i am not close to a lot of them, many which i dun haf a personal r/s with. and by large, i am nt a crowd person. i prefer small grp or one-to-one fellowship. and from which, i receive edification even nt talking abt anything related to myself. another thing is that i need a company of friends that are continually growing for i no longer have any room or space for stagnation in my life.
another thing that i was sharing abt is that how God really has plans in His own time. to come to think of it, i've been praying for a decision for the past 2 years. it never was clear for me, and as such, i cld never give a proper answer to bob. a surprise to me was how clear cut the decision was made during the last few days of 2007. personally, i always feared of making the wrong decision. but thank God for His assurance that i know that i wld nt regret this choice that i have made now. seriously, if the decision was made any time prior to this, i probably cld not take the pressures and challenges that came along with the step of faith. esp last year with all the turmoil in the family and A levels coming up. and in 2007, i have indeed grown in many ways. i have bloomed in terms of spiritual maturity and have overcome many of my personal fears and insecurities.
2007 has been a great year for stretching of my personal limits, esp in december. i thank God for the time that He has set aside for my preparation for a time like this. my new year has been filled with testings almost daily. it feels pretty draining and tired but at the end of the day, knowing God sees, in itself is already a reward to me. devil seems to be really bu shuang, evident frm the no of attacks on the members in the cg. loads of meeting ups to do tmr after work. looking back, i am grateful to God for His timing. *can't recall this part coz brain seems to be shutting down* much as the attacks are on the pple's lives, i have learnt to embrace them and trust in God to work on our behalf. Lord, i am excited.
we always justify ourselves with our intentions, but we are judged by people for our actions...dr edwin louis cole
11:15 PM
