decided to give myself a quick recap of the year by reading my entries of the entire year. time really flies and i just stopped in september for thereafter, it is still rather fresh in my mind...
at the start of the year, i thought that it would be nice if we could have personal fireworks...
and on my birthday, i had a rooftop garden filled with sparklers and a song dedication for me...
i wanted to go overseas and to a beach resort...
i went to Bintan and Batam, with the latter being a mission trip (and all-time desire)...
i seek this year for a soulmate, someone close to my heart. someone who hears me and knows me, moving together in the same direction...
i found more than what i could bargain for, people who would fight for me and tell me the truth even if it hurts. i have leaders and boss who would take time and effort out just to make sure that i'm fine and never ceasing to believe in me...
i sought to be single-minded in my pursuits...
i'm still working on it. but i've learnt to say 'no' to stuff...
the promise of God that came to me in Job 8:7 "though your beginning was small, yet your latter end would increase abundantly"...
came to pass in terms of the growth of the cg and my personal capacity...
i am more than thankful for all that i have had in 2008. there are many rocks and milestones, and yet, also times of heartaches and stretching. but i've learnt that with everything that happens, there is a reason, some of which i still do not see yet.
2008 has given a new meaning to the word tired and struggles. there has been days that i'm just so worn out that i am thankful for an extra five minutes of sleep. but yet, it is also then that God's presence and reality that impacted me the most. not only that, 2008 has also been an especially teary one, even when in hugs, tears would just flow down my eyes.
love in itself has also taken a new dimension in 2008. to love people even when you are hurting the most, or when they never fail to irritate and frustrate you, is something that i'm learning to comprehend. it is really at the end of our own personal capacity to love that we learn to let God's love flow through us and work through us.
i've learnt a lot last year in terms of personal space, emotions, ministry and relationships. drawing away and having personal time helps us to become more effective individually. i like the word solitude, but it does not equate one to being a loner. for the heart, i realized that it usually is not a split second thing. our heart is really slooooow - it takes time to catch up.
and end of the day, although i'm still learning to walk out of a struggle in my life, i know that His grace will be more than sufficient for me, as He has shown me in the entire year. i'll press on for He is always faithful, always believing in me. i pray that God will do a work in this overwhelmed heart of mine, to help me become a better and stronger woman, one whose heart is every true to Him.
2009 will be the best year yet...
2:40 AM
