Third day running to have morning pm in NTU and I am really really excited. Led the meeting today and am very humbled. Could hear God speaking and felt His desire for more leaders and even more so, worshippers in NTU. Felt the breakthrough coming in the spirit and very honored and thankful to have embarked on this journey of intercession for the school.
Celebrated Zihao's birthday and planned for Monday's outreach event. It's gonna be a blast with many more friendships being forged and hearts will be very very open! Amen and amen!!!
Funny how shortly after Yang messaged me to have a great day ahead, the next message that I received simply brought me to tears and on my knees. I just cried and cried, not knowing why. Probably the greatest emotion is felt there and then was disappointment. As usual, questions simply flooded my mind, the desire to confront and satisfy my curiosity was evidently present. But end of it all, I am leaving it to God's sovereignty.
I guess what I really has never been able to tolerate is the breaking of trust. But I learnt to give God all my rights today. And I know for sure, this isn't something that I would want to fight for.
This message seems to have been pivotal and in fact, divine. Broke me once again when I think I am over it to only realise that there is still this bit that needs to be surrendered and addressed. Yet again, God has once again been very very graceful to actually prepare me in my heart and in the spirit. It is something that I could resist to some extent, to pray and to get back on my feet.
It has been a long while since I cried in such a manner. But as I shared with Wenling, I felt that I am getting closer to her and easier to open up to her. It is really comforting to know that someone like her is praying for me.
And I'm thankful for min that got herself out of bed and came all the way to school to offer me a hug. What would I ever do without her? And Evelyn and her are getting me a new laptop bag with handle! Hehe. A bit random. =P
And I thank God that things are a whole lot clearer now with the message. It just propelled me towards my breakthrough and allowed faith to arise. I deleted the friend in question off my contact simply. It is not hatred or unforgiveness but letting go. If our paths ever cross again, still will be a friend to me.
I questioned the timing of the entire incident and to only grow to appreciate it as I come to the end of this day.
The devil is upset with my passion and fervency - my can-do, let's-do attitude. I am being a threat to him. Makes it all the more exciting that through it I am being moulded and refined in my character and faith. Had thoughts of combining cg today for a split second but my faith said otherwise.
If not, cg wouldn't have been as awesome as it was today. I broke through my volume capacity and was much bolder in my praise. And the presence of God was just so tangible that those who are dry and lost were being ministered to by God. Loved His presence. And the word that was being spoken forth in the spirit ministered to me as well. And the ministry made it all the easier to preach and set the stage right. Very encouraged by the faith level of my members. Love them all! Looking forward to hear more 'amens' in cgms!
Special mention to Alicia for making things happen and standing in the gap for me. Very very blessed to have a sister and friend that loves me as much as you do.
Not forgetting Xinyee, Spencer, David, Gabriel, Jingzhou and Crystal who took a step out and served the rest of the cg. Love you guys!
Through it all, I thank God that He always make things perfect in His own time. Everything was just right. Any difference would mean a whole world of differencem
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Loved the service today. Was touched by how timely God is yet again. A word that spoke right into my situation. I wasn't feeling really good with the cg as well and a bit drained.
In seasons and stages of our lives, we learn lessons that becomes the seeds in the lives of others. They become permanent. I thank God for putting me through all that I've been through to become a blessing in the lives of others. I wanna be able to keep sowing! And remember, rejection is also a form of direction. Thank you for pushing me in the direction of receiving sth even better for my life.
And we had three new friends for service today with two of them getting saved! :D the third one will get saved in feb and all of them will be integrated in march!
Appreciate the time I had with David too! Got to hear from him! Whee! :D
And something that is weighing on my heart...
Alicia, I'm sorry about the way that I expressed myself and having hurt you in the process. You are appreciated.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
11:54 PM