现在的我的情绪有一点低落.
并不喜欢毫无方向感的人生。而缺这就是我现在属于的状态。
own time own target 有它的好处但毫无目标的往前的确很辛苦。最糟的是不清楚自己是否真的在往前。
i need some indicators to keep moving on. i need to know that i'm in tandem with God's will for my life. but it has gone all quiet now. or is it that i have been so busy and caught up that i've not been listening?
不喜欢毫无次序和规律的生活。
i need some order.
我需要懂得如何制造自己的私人空间和如何向人说不。
i don't want to become a person of compliance and compromise.
虽然他的恩典足够与我但我不想 take it for granted.
i want to become a more effective individual - one that leads by example.
help me to become a better person for you...
12:19 AM
Over dinner today at Palette with Vibhav, Parag and Kunhal, taught them how to say grace and in turn, thwy taught me a prayer that they learnt in school when they were 3. Here goes:
Thank God for the word so sweet
Thank God for the food to eat
Thank God for the birds that sing
Thank God for everything!!!
Came up wit a little melody for it and thought that it was pretty neat. Learnt quite a few things from them too! Like how you can actually draw faces from the word boy and girl. Vibhav is really good at drawing Popeye and he throws in lots of details with it! Shall get him to teach me one fine day! :)
And Alicia, as adorable as always, started showing me all my past photos. Now I understand what it means to "scream in horror" when looking at ur past photos. I thank God that we look better as we walk closer to Him in His glory. Amazed at how I can and have changed so much in a year - both physically, emotionally (heart) and spiritually. Will be quite fun to do a video montage one day and have a good laugh. Hehe.
And now, back to results and language grammar analysis. Tmr will be even better! Amen! :)
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10:37 PM
This is really the last hours before I'll be able to see Karu again in a long long time. Really appreciate everyone for making room for her even having only met her once or twice. Some having rushed down and helped in the preparation. Simply awesome guys and gals! And Karu never fails to remind me that I'm really blessed to have such great friends.
Indeed I am blessed to have them as a family and also dearies like Alicia who just makes things happen. What more could I say? I want to learn to count my blessings every day! :)
There were a fair bit of teasing going on just now. Simply hilarious! I'm glad that I'm not on any end of it. Hee...
Anw also really thankful for the guys tat helped me to carry all my barang to my hall. I'm awed by the sheer number and weight of things that I have in school. The guys got a really good workout from me.
Friends are truly God's way of taking care of us...
And here is a prayer for Jimmy,
Dear God, we pray for your hands to touch Jimmy's right cheek and bring forth supernatural healing, restoring the cheekbone to its original condition. We pray for a speedy healing and recovery over him. and also we ask that let there be no other areas of affliction upon him, letting your protection guard over him. We thank you for a miracle and we ask all these in the name of Jesus, amen!
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1:03 AM
Really excited to see the four friends getting integrated into the cg. They want to come back again and again every week! Meeting them for dinner tmr and looking forward to giving them bs. And even more so, to be a friend to them.
Had a short chat with wl and she passed the comment on the cg getting more international - america, india and pakistan. Whee! Praying for direction and decisions need to be made as well.
Looking forward to november and december where I can spend a lot of time with the cg giving bible studies, praying hanging out together and sharing our lives. Nothing more that I could ask for! And also looking forward to more time that I can spend with my loved ones. And of course, eve's wedding! First wedding that I'm actually involved in coordinating. Hopefully that there is more to come! :D
Dear God, I want to have more of You in my life. Help me to not compromise on my character and to apply my life to the word. And even more so, let me not be bounded any longer by the past but embrace the future You have in mind for me. Draw me into the plan and directions You have for my life. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
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4:28 PM
Just ended our night prayer. From next week on, it'll be back to morning prayers. I've learnt to praise and worship God more and He is really my source of strength! Wonder wat wld I ever become without His word and His presence... Unthinkable...
2 project deadlines, 2 tests and 1 outreach sums up the week. And I'm battle-ready with moo moo and my pillow in tow for my room in hall 15. This is a season of growth in personal capacity, cg and finances. Breakthroughs! I really really really really really want to grow and be strong practically and lead by example! God, help me and teach me!
Tmr is sabbath day and will be great! 4 friends coming! Whee! <3
I want to always have a heart that is running after you...
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3:46 AM
just had quite a nightmare.
God, help me to always learn to be prepared. don't know why of all people i dreamt of those that were so close to me. i pray that i'll learn to surrender all.
and more so that i'll stop going around in circles. i want to learn to run to God and be strengthened. help me to have a heart without mixture towards you Lord. allow me to grow to the woman you want me to be, one that fits your will. and at the end of it all, i will wholly follow you...
1:55 PM
i'm thankful for the time that i get to sit and think and reflect. it seems to help me to instill some order into my private life, refuelling me for the challenges that would come my way way next.
i'm learning these days to be a true worshipper. the time that i can just sing and worship God and talk to Him is a real indulgence and privilege. His presence has been tangibly felt in the past two nights as we came together to worship. no guitar, no band. just us - our hearts and lives in total surrender and yieldedness. the hour passed us by just like that. i found myself wanting to linger longer and just continue worshipping Him. i totally love it. the Holy Spirit has also been speaking and bringing many things to my remembrance, speaking from His word. i believe this is only a glimpse of even greater encounters and fellowship with Him. i want to bring my members into more of such encounters!
and as i spoke to a dear sister of mine, God reminded me that the seasons that i have been through was for a purpose and not in vain. having been through what i was grappling with in the past three months, i know i've emerged stronger and loving God and His people more. my heart has been checked, fine-tuned and sensitized. as i prayed, i felt the pain and grief in my heart for her.
my dear, i know the weeks ahead is not going to be easy, but God will bring you through, holding on tightly to your hands as He did to mine. He'll never let go of you even when you don't know how to carry on. He'll carry you through so long you stick on to Him. jia you! you can! <3
1:32 AM
still amazed and in awe of what He has called me to. and how things always work out in the end. one of the best meetings i've led this year. presence, yes. people, yes. was really good to have shanhui and quenas in cg today. *blessed*
and even as i prepared, there were a lot less jitters and stuttering. i knew what i wanted and where He was leading. preached up a storm and prayed up an even greater storm. and the challenge to give was strong. what more could i ask for? i really want to see an even greater breakthrough next week in cg. i wanna have my own meetings again!!!
yet, i know that i need to learn to build on my faithfulness and discipline. i want every cgm to be a time of power encounters!!!
really learning to love my members more each day even though some of them really stretches my patience to its limits. they are all so simply amazing. what more could i ask for than for them to grow stronger in their love and walk with God?
fellowshipping with the people was great fun too. and after much persuasion, went with zhiqiang, jonathan, kevin and coleen to xin wang@yishun. good time of chatting and bridge learning. fun to have gotten to know two more friends through the night too!
i'm really learning to take things slower and not over-commit and being more disciplined as an individual. so many thoughts are running through my head and mind right now but the main criteria is knowing that it is in the will of God for me to do. still praying and trusting... =)
3:55 AM
