okay. i'm back down into a moaning mode and i'm writing to get rid of it. can't possibly carry all these feelings and go into the rest of my day, esp for CG...
always feel quite torn for cg. am really really really excited to see God move in CG today and how He is going to speak into our lives and touch our hearts and see lives change. life is always an adventure with God. and it is like a breaking forth out of what Poh taught us in iworship. i look forward to finding God in the holiest of all and help my members find Him too!
God spoke once again during the OPM. it is true that we are all called to love Him even before anything else. as we sang deeper in love and the different leaders prophesied, it brought on illumination on how God opens doors to our lives and paid the price of redemption for us once and for all, though we still struggle from time to time to grasp this.
and as i draw nearer to my birthday, i look forward to see the birthday msges coming in. but more so, i want it to be another time of consecration. and as i bade farewell to teenage years reaching the big 2, i just want to fall deeper in love with God, serving Him in a greater capacity, doing what He wills and of the desires He has put into my heart. i know that the year is only going to get better. i can sense the change and have seen changes in myself in the past year. the little girl within is growing up, just very much like the shunamite woman. i want to grow in my love to be one of mature love, tested but yet also still left yearning for more. not just waiting at where i am for God to touch me, but going forth to where God is and come into communion with Him. Song of Solomon have taught me a lot a lot a lot about love and in my wanting to pursue God. i want to be someone after God's own heart and share His heartbeat. i want to be his daughter of grace...
