enjoyed very much the time that i spent with myrna today albeit short. it is really really nice to have a sister to go along with you to places you need to go and do the things that you need to do. it is no longer so alone. looking forward to the fellowship again next tuesday!

and i'm thankful for ying that wld want to head back together. although i am really tempted to just be a loner, the fellowship home did sth to my heart. it is actually far better to go home together than alone. it is really a time of secret-sharing and also a time to inspire one another. thanks babe!

the word today at the meeting just spoke to me again and again at different points. the love of God that that touches us all so deeply but yet many of us have yet to experience this fullness. the very fullness of the love of God that forgave us even right before we make those mistakes. i take comfort in knowing that God loves me through all in all even when i screwed up big time in my life. He has not stopped speaking through His word and through people and things. His love for me just keeps me in awe. there is nothing in my life that i desire more than Him now, for me to be completed in His love. though i'm still struggling, i know that there is a love that i can always fall back on. indeed when much has been forgiven, much more is the love experienced. i have experienced much this two months and that probably explains what i've been seeing in the cg. though i get discouraged from time to time, God has His ways of bringing me back up again. pretty much still trying to comprehend the limitless of God's love. God, won't you show me the revelation of the cross? Help me to love people as of how You did and being able to forgive all the offenses and murmurring that has been made.

from the same message, i felt the need deep in my heart to seek for forgiveness from a few people that i've grieved and hurt in the past few months. the people that i treasure and i love. i seem to be standing at the brink of a new chapter of my life right now, not knowing what to expect, not knowing what to do. in fact, i do feel very very weird in my heart. but i've been affirmed of His faithfulness and love towards me and that He will show me the way and that He will be as timely as He has always been. i once again need the very grace that He has put in my life that has got me to where i am today. mistakes i've made are many but yet He has always been so gracious. keep me from falling again and let me lean in full dependence on You, seeing the things that You see...

一向都无厘头的我是应为你的爱和恩典才会有今天的我。让我继续每天靠着你的恩典走下去。

reading the post on Pastor Kong on belonging to God really affirms it all - nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by Your right hand (Ps 73:23). His presence never leaves us nor forsakes us. and having just hung up with Jo over the phone and reading the blog post, it just keeps me wondering how on earth can God be so timely. but it all tells me that this is how my God is like - a father who knows what his children needs best and offers them right on time, with maximized impact. made a few decisions as i conversed with joy and as she prayed for me, tears flowed once again, touched by His very presence. i know that these decisions made / going to be made are not easy but necessary for me to move on and grow. and now, it is back to prayer and communion with Him on my own...