i'm giving myself 15 mintues to pen down some of my thoughts after finishing a paper in the wee hours of this morning, a meeting @ nebo and some curriculum writing. not forgetting the stack of books and papers that i need to read for the paper submission tmr.
for the past few days amidst the busyness, i've learnt a lot a lot of things, many of which are things that i used to practice, principles that i hold on to. and somehow due to insecurities, wanting to fit in and a whole lot of other reasons, i lost it. but i'm glad that i'm learning them again - how to live my life more humanly with joy and grace.
one of the thing i realized as we grow older is the loss of resilience that we used to have a s a child. looking at a toddler learning to walk sure teach us a lot about life. although they wobble and fumble and fall down time and time again, doesn't it make you wonder why is it that even when they fall, they will just get up again and minutes after start chasing you again in their wobbly-fumbly state? in fact, they seldom cry. they know that they are loved and embraced just as they are. they don't feel the need to have themselves covered up and protected. they have a larger-than-life esteem. and part of why they could grow in such a way is also attributed to the people that forms their environment. since when do we scold a two-year old kid stupid? since when do we get so angry and frustrated with them and start yelling at them?
my answer is almost never. people are so much more gracious towards their young ones before all the expectations starting setting in (i'm not even going into if they are realistic or not). we place confidence in them, giving them opportunities to keep trying and even when they fail, they are still fully accepted for who they are. and no matter what happens, we are encouraging and cheering them on. it is saddening how fear has gripped the hearts of many - fear of doing things wrong, fear of fumbling and fear of facing up to the truth.
many of them has so much potential that is within them but yet remains untapped. being bonded by fear, doubts and uncertainties being one of them. what has really stopped them in their tracks? and what has stopped you in your track?
i feel that all of us need cheerleaders in our lives just as our parents were. people used to call me naive, being overly optimistic and positive, to the extent of being unreal. but what's wrong with that if i really geniunely believe in what i say. when i say that i believe you can do it, there is no second guessing that you can't in my heart. i know the world is imperfect and many times things don't go our way. but does this then entitles us to just sit there and wait for things to fall into place to do something, to influence change? just like when we were babies, we didnt wait for a perfect divine moment to start walking, we just did it. and in our lives now, even as a young adult, we just need to do it at times and not miss the moment - the opportunity toi live our lives to the fullest.
let us all learn to be cheerleaders in our lives. our compliments and words of encouragement/affirmation have seemed to be substitued by sacarsam and criticisms. the next time you criticise, think how is it empowering the person to become better. if it isn't, then just hold your peace. if it is not going to add to someone's life, it is very likely that it will subtract or even divide someone's life up. all of us can help each of us become better people and cheerleaders by learning to say thank you, sms our appreciation or even telling someone 'you can do it'. to qualify myself, please mean it from your heart. you won't want someone to feel that you are doing for the sake of doing it. and if we need to 'criticise', let's learn to say it in love, giving positive and constructive feedback and not to judge, condemn or tear down someone's ego. and together, we can have a much more loving and conducive environment to become better people to change our world and society.
it is only human to want to be stroked and loved. wei once told me that everyone needs a few hugs today to be NORMAL and 14 hugs daily to become better. hugs need not be physical, but also verbal. our words of encouragements act like hugs to people. they are love units depositer.
we can all become more loving people!
p.s. i need my share of hugs too. not just to give but to receive.
thanks yang and alicia for the hugs!
Labels: life lessons, love, thoughts
5:33 PM